Book Club Experience

Read Between the Wines... my kind of Book Club

My very first experience in a book club was one I was bullied into.  I was a new English teacher at the high school I’d graduated from and they wanted me to attend.  One, I couldn’t say no… these were my new co-workers and I’m an English teacher, for goodness sakes!  Two, I really wanted to say no… these women were teachers that I was a student under; I really didn’t want to try to sound smart surrounded by all the woman that used to be responsible for my grades {terrifying!}.  It went well, I stayed silent, and I never returned, but blamed my busy motherhood on my inability to stay after and participate.

As an adult, many opportunities have emerged for me to participate in book clubs, both as a leader and as a participant. It hasn’t been a consistent activity, but effort has been made.  I attended a book club as an add-on activity through my MOPS group that was basically a trainwreck (Seriously, nothing positive to say about it and I was a total black sheep for having opinions.).  As a library director, I’ve been the leader of many book club meetings for teens and adults. In 2019, the plan was to meet every 6 weeks, alternating between YA reads and adult reads.  This aligned well with ilovelibaries' Start a Bookclub list of recommendations.   My worst experience as a book club leader was last year when I was totally prepared well in advance and had read all the titles then no one wanted to actually meet.  I had many patrons take the titles out, but not a one actually attend a meeting.  I did get the opportunity to discuss titles as patrons would bring them back, but the comradery that is associated with a book club wasn’t present.

For this activity, I attended my friend Christi’s book club, Read Between the Wines.  It’s a once a month book club that alternates location and doesn’t limit itself to wine, despite the name. In questioning Christi about their norms, she shared that they usually meet at restaurants or a local winery, but occasionally meet at her home.  They enjoy food and drinks and discuss that month’s title in a casual discussion.  Primarily, they read mysteries, but they try about anything.  If discussion questions or a reader’s guide are available, they might use them as a launch point for discussion, but they mostly just share their thoughts on the title and the characters.  This is contrary to what the ilovelibraries website recommends on their Facilitating Discussion page, which doesn't recommend the freeform discussion that this group enjoys.  I would argue that this works for the group though and Christi is prepared should there be a lull in discussion.  They certainly apply the themes of the book to their lives and discuss what they would do in similar situations. 

For their February meeting, the group read The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris.  The group met at the winery this time and Christi spearheaded conversation.  The age range of group participants alone was fascinating to me (mid 20s-60s, I didn't actually ask them).  As someone who’s totally still in my 30s (😉) and went to college with Christi, I can appreciate the opportunities for grown women to get together for any reason.  Despite the wide range of ages and backgrounds, the group members all looked happy and engaged and I was touched to hear how their relationships had flourished to being more than conversations about books.  I usually keep titles such as this away from me as I don’t invite topics of this emotional depth into my life, but the group of six was able to discuss it with great beauty and share the experience well.   The wine helped. They did have some basic questions about pieces of the book that they discussed briefly, but they mostly focused on the main characters and the injustice of what they had to endure and the beauty of the relationship.  It was very discussion-structured, not yes/no, and opinions were deep. As with most groups, some people seemed quieter than others, but everyone spoke up at some point.  As leader, Christi definitely was the most vocal at the start and end of the meeting, but once sparked, conversation flowed freely.  As this event was held at a winery, everyone could get what they wanted, individually, and nothing was provided.  This works out well for them as it is a “night out” and not a sponsored activity. While the official meeting didn't last the 2.5 hours that the ilovelibraries webpage steers toward on their Structuring Your Meeting page, but the two hour mark was easy to hit and I, personally, thought that was highly respectful of the participants' time. Without the club administrative component, that does shave some time off. When I hosted book clubs, I strived to have it "done" in an hour and they could hang out longer if they wished. 

Usually Christi chooses the titles they’re going to read, but the group decided to try a different approach for 2020 and each volunteered a title suggestion and then they drew from a hat and assigned months to each title.  In January, the title was The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes and Christi hopes to read Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid soon with the group.

Finding time for gatherings like this isn’t always easy with our adult lives, but I really enjoyed reconnecting with Christi and hearing smart people talk about smart things (not current events!).  I’ve asked her to let me join her book sorority.  We’ll see if they have a handshake.